Divorce Pranks - First Wives Club; Don't Get Mad, Get Even!

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10/15/2000 I email my ex that I've renegotiated orthodontic payments from $200 a month to $50 a month.

From: Phillip
Well that is good news. It will really help at this end. I am trying to put together a payment to you as well as the LA Family support group. I have been doing odd jobs and been trying to save some money toward these debts. If all goes as planned, I will send something next week. Of course, you will get what ever I send to the family support group. My unemployment ran out in August and with my illnesses, it has been hard to obtain a stable position.

From Cheryl  

Oh yeah, that's what I'm trying to do - help at your end.  

I'm trying to help ME by renegotiating the orthodontic payments! I'm the one who continues to pay the bills no matter what you choose to do. 

You didn't care when the girls and I were on food stamps in Vegas, you didn't care about lying in CA court regarding my salary and to get jurisdiction, you didn't care if the kids were sick (I was having to pay full price at the clinic when they were sick often and you refused to help).  You neglected the kids for 3 years until support was nearly quadrupled - then suddenly wanted to exercise the visitation to reduce the support.  

It's convenient for you to continue to choose to not exercise visitation, to not pay support, medical, dental, ortho, health insurance (whether you are working making good money or not)...cuz I am always there for the girls. 

As I've said before I don't like it when you are cryptic about your "illnesses", and when you mention them to me rather than tell your kids. Angela cried after your phone call. You aren't being clear with her. You aren't reassuring her that it's not something that's fatal.  You aren't reassuring her that you are taking the appropriate action to address the illnesses. She's feeling sad, scared and frustrated about you. 


10/24/2000 Phil called the girls, arranged their next visitation, and spoke reassuringly clear to the girls about his illnesses and how he's taking care of them.  The girls were content and satisfied.


1/15/2001 He never made any child support payments.  He doesn't pay his share of uncovered medical, dental, or orthodontic.  He and his wife refused to pay for dental insurance at her work. Her HMO covering our girls doesn't help cuz my husband's HMO covers our girls.

He never had any surgery.  He's still "unemployed", working for his landlord to reduce rent, working for his brother's employer periodically, and living off his internet business started this past April.

He asked our daughters a little excited, "Have you guys been looking at my site? Does your mom know about it?" They replied they looked at it, and yes mom knows about. He excitedly asked, "What did she say?!"  The girls said, "Nothing."

What I think is he's still trying to compete with my husband and my ex doesn't realize I'm looking at his site realizing he's getting income, but not paying support.

He's rarely exercising visitation except at my or our girls' insistence. The plane tkts aren't as reasonable as he expected, and the 5 hr drive is inconvenient for him, so he asked that we deliver the girls to the train. Several hours out of our day in traffic to and from downtown LA, seeing the girls off safely with food $, and $8 out of our pocket for parking.  

He wants us to do it again. 


Then he wants the girls to travel by Greyhound Bus cuz it's even cheaper than the train.



2/9/2001 He cordially calls and agrees to my suggestion that the girls take the city bus directly from my home to train station, and sending them $25 food money for the 7 hr trip. He is sending $150 towards uncovered medical and $300 towards child support. He says he's working full-time at dental lab. He's getting 1/2 his average salary as a manufacturing manager.  I don't ask him about working for his landlord or the online site.

2/10/2001 I receive court papers that LA County is now in charge of collecting on child support, arrears, medical and that a wage assignment will follow. He probably received the papers yesterday. Think that's why he called yesterday? (Duh)

The city bus doesn't commute to the train station on weekends, so we take the girls to practice the trip on the metro tram making 2 transfers to get to the train station.


2/14/2001 I receive a letter from my ex. He'd told me over the phone he was making $12 an hr. His letter says he's making $15 an hr 35 hr week.  He was hired full time 1/1/01 - 2 weeks before I figured out where he was working and informed the da, who discovered to their delight that I was right.  They started garnishing his wages. He files for a downward modification claiming he only makes @$31,000 a year instead of his usual $42,000.

06/01/2001 My ex declines to exercise his visitation anymore.  I receive $25 more than the $710 a month, and learn that an automatic 1% is deducted from his wages for the $1498 arrears LA DA says he owes.

I sent a complaint to the state about LA DA.

2003 CA Franchise Tax Board contacts me to pay the $5000 '85 taxes. They said we filed IRS, but not state in that year. They say they can't get the money from my ex because of his bankruptcy. I email pointing out I'm not working, my ex has money. They realize that since he hadn't filed the taxes, they weren't on his bankruptcy and they can go after him.

I gave child support office the heads up that payments on arrears were supposed to have increased once our 18yo graduated high school. They send for info from his employer. Somehow my ex got an over $10,000 raise since the last modification. Gee, know anyone else who got nearly a 40% raise in two years? Guess the employer was helping him lay low the last time in court. DA files for an upward mod. My ex tries to claim he deserves a hardship deduction for paying $100 a month towards his catastrophic medical expenses. I tell the paralegal what his "catastrophic" illnesses are. He's denied the hardship deduction. My ex had the paralegal ask me to "give him a break" because half his paycheck is going towards support and back taxes. I pointed out my ex never gave me a break. The paralegal points out that sometimes the spouses income is included, taking into consideration tax breaks. The paralegal lets me know my ex's spouse's income of $18,000 a year doesn't make a difference, so her income won't be included in the calculation of support. Support is increased. He owes about $4000 in arrears.

He and his new wife buy a house after that. Gee, guess things aren't so rough after all.

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