02/13/02 Ss was doing homework.
Bm called. Our new rule is the girls ask me if ss's
done with homework cuz last time he lied to my daughter about being done
order to refuse the phone call. I asked ss if he was done with the last
sentence of homework he said he had. He said yes, but he realized he had
more French homework. My daughter didn't want to deal with her. I got on
phone and told bm he was doing
She demanded to know, "He goes to
school later now. What is his
bedtime?!?" I said 10pm. She said ok.
I realized she'd probably be
calling after 9pm.
I called dh (who's at robotics)
to let him know. We came up with that the
kids still can't receive phone calls after 9pm (cuz the girls' bedtime is
still 9pm), but ss could call his mom after 9pm. I would answer kids' line
after 9pm (as we've had to do the
few times their friends call after 9).
She called 9:20p. I explained
the kids can't get phone calls after 9. I said
I'd tell him she called and wants to
hear from him.
He said he was done with his
homework, but wants to do some robotics. He
said he might call her tomorrow.
Bm called 9:40p. I again said
they can't receive phone calls after 9. I told
her he said he was done with his
homework, and wanted to do something else.
She argued at length,
"Can't you just put him on? Can't he answer the phone?
Did you tell him?" I finally
had to hang up.
I let him know she called
again. He didn't seem interested in calling her. I
left it up to him.
The interesting part to me is
that I can be honest with her.
The onus may be back on ss. He
likes to lie to her. He likes to try to get
my girls and us to lie to her. Now the dilemma will be learning her son
to her (about homework being done, how his homework load is enormous and
force him to work long hours on it, how extracurricular activities don't
allow him time to do homework) and
truly doesn't want to call her.
Ss seems relieved that I am
keeping the phone calls from him during
homework, and after 9pm. He has some control over being on the phone with
her. He finished the robotics, and
got ready for bed.
If she'd started talking to him
after 9:40p, she probably would have kept
him on for 40 minutes raging.
Ever since dh won custody
summer '99, she's refused our suggestions for how to reach him. A couple
of years ago she refused to call at the time of day we suggested. It
seemed more important to her that she be able to call at ANY time that
she chose. She won't email him. Dh told her she could call ss on his
cell phone at robotics. She's never done it. It seems more important to
her to bully her way in to the times we say she can't call.
BTW, ss got all A's (2 of them
in soph honors classes) and 1 B in basketball.