7/14/2000 My ex emails me, "I was able to work my way around the social security cards for the girls, (they are still asking for them ). But now they need to know who their current ins. carrier. is and what the affectivity date. Since I have been in and out of the hospital they are trying to activate the ins. before 8/1/00."

At first I interpreted this that he'd recently been in the hospital. I call my son and his wife to confirm, but they aren't home. Then I email them why I'd called, and let them know I've reinterpreted that he's talking about when he was in the hospital years ago for peritonitis.  I email him the health ins info.

7/20/2000 Marygrace calls her dad. To her surprise he tells her he's been in the hospital, that it was a kidney problem, and he's fine now. I call my son and his wife, "If you knew he was in the hospital recently, why didn't you respond to my email?" They didn't know he was in the hospital recently. My son says, "He probably passed another kidney stone. He did it 3xs with KK." I didn't know that. I ask our girls. They didn't know that. He made a huge ordeal with our 12yo recently about the family history of diabetes and the extra weight she's put on, that people will make fun of her [why is it some things never change. He's built like Hoss Cartwright. When our eldest daughter was a teenager he'd rag on her about her weight cuz she was a size 12 instead of a 10; all his kids have a much less weight problem than he has], but he doesn't tell them about his hospital visits.

Ughhhh...*rhetorical rant* Why does he have to cryptically tell me about his being in the hospital, and he can't be direct with his adult and teenage kids and tell them?  His personal life isn't my job anymore.

9/15/2000 He does it again, "I will have to see what the schedule will be like to get down there. I do not want to deal with it at this time because I am going in for some surgery. I will let you know next week."

I emailed him, "I didn't like it the first time you did it about your having been in the hospital. I don't like it this time either.   

Let your kids know first and directly about your surgery. Don't give me a cryptic statement. I'm not going to share that with them. Then, like the first time, when they find out you've been in the hospital and you don't tell them in the first place, they don't feel very comfortable about it."

9/17/2000 "Our 12yo daughter tells me that during their last visit there was a drop of blood on a pillow. She asked what it was from. My ex told her, "That's when I felt like I was dying!" Our daughter didn't ask him any further questions about it.  As usual, he's not looking to prepare the girls or reassure them.

2/6/2001 He does it again. Over the phone he tells our daughter he has cancer. The phone call ends. She runs downstairs crying. He neglected to tell her it's skin cancer, he had it years ago (*chuckle* when he started living with KK he spent hours at the beach and developed the condition), and it's very treatable.

She quickly recovered. She's learning to detach herself from his emotional manipulation. It doesn't mean she doesn't love him and care for him. She just doesn't care to go thru the emotional roller coaster he tries to put her thru.

02/28/2002 

I did a double take and privately thought the operation wouldn't work.  

  Then I realized he's getting major hemeroid (sp?) surgery like his younger brother did many years ago.   The *asshole* preferred scaring and confusing his kids again rather than inform and reassure them.