The LA Regional robotics competition was Thu 4/4 - 4/6. Spring break
began Fri 4/5. Bm was irritated that a fixed weekend due her that's
detailed in the visitation order was occurring during spring break with
her. She wanted an alternate weekend for the fixed weekend.
We said we would if she let ss stay for Sat 4/6 at robotics.
According to court order she could get ss 6pm Fri, but 99% of the time
she chooses 8:30a Saturdays so she doesn't have to travel after work
Then she wrote that ss should attend the last day of robotics, and
she would if we would give her the 1 weekend, 3/15, when we'd told her
2xs we were busy that weekend. That was the weekend we were getting Mexican Exchange
Student, wanted family to bond, and Exchange Student dinner that Sat
night. Dh wrote her he was glad she agreed he should attend the last day
of the competition, and offered her a 2 day weekend in exchange for the
last day of robotics, and the alternate weekend for the fixed weekend,
but it would have to be a weekend other than 3/15.
She wrote that since we were being so inflexible that she wouldn't
let him stay for Sat, and she would pick him up 8pm Fri night, the
soonest she could get there after work.
BTW, last year our robotics' team won regional and national. This
year at regional we nearly came in last. However, our entire family has
joined robotics cuz of ss since he always wanted to quit, and his mom
always tries to make him quit. Dh is now adult advisor, I'm taking care
of cookies and spirit (like bubbles and stuff, or saving seats) and our
17yo daughter ended up co-driving the entire competition. We almost came
in last but she was a huge success. Dh, ss, and my daughter are all
going to FL championship paid for by the school (cuz we won last year).
Bm let dh know early school year that if any robotics competition occurs
during his time with her, even a FL Orlando national competition, that
he wouldn't be going. We got lucky for the 2nd year in a row. Ss is with
us during championship. There's talk of my daughter being student
president of robotics next year.
Dh picks up ss 4/14 3pm. BTW, I asked dh why visitation order says
3pm, when all other pickups are 6pm.
He reminded me that when bm had
custody she so wanted ss home for every Easter (which is alternated each
year) that she demanded pick up was 3pm. She never expected dh to win
custody summer '99, and that things she'd demanded in the visitation
order would come back to haunt her.
Anyway, 15 minutes after dh picked up ss bm calls me a little frantic
and angry. Ss had left a bunch of stuff behind. Dh wasn't answering his
cell phone. She thought that I could reach his cell phone. I pointed out
that if his phone wasn't working, I couldn't reach him either. She
insisted I reach him. I responded, "You can email him. He gets
paged on emails." I wasn't going to do her work for her. Her
demands do not make an emergency for me. She mumbled that it would take
some time for her to get online. I shrugged and said ok. Then I
remembered. She had emailed the robotics director a year ago, given us a
hard copy of the email and response with her email address blacked out.
That was when we learned she had email. But ss said she didn't want to
give us her email address believing we'd spam her. Now her dilemma was
She didn't email dh. They came home. Ss called bm. Bm has to snail
mail the stuff.
2 things about that. #1 we ALWAYS have ss prepared, packed and ready
to go on time. She likes to keep dh waiting everytime. And now they
weren't even prepared. #2 When bm had custody she had a huge tantrum
each time a sock was left at our house and made a huge ordeal that it
must be Fed Expressed immediately. That's come back to haunt her now. I
guess she couldn't say no to ss insisting he must get the stuff
I learned it includes his prescription acne meds that must be
refrigerated, and his retainer. *shaking my head* He's not supposed to
take his retainer unless it's more than a 2 week trip. I guess she
demands he take it.
BTW, ss didn't do any of the homework he was supposed to do at bm's
house. So each night he's up late getting it done since getting home.
So last night bm calls the kids' line. My daughter answers. We've all
been thru this drill. We don't let ss take phone calls while doing
homework, especially from his mom cuz she likes to tell him he doesn't
have to do homework when we say he does and he comes downstairs to
announce he's not doing more homework, she likes to lie about why she
needs to talk to him, and create all kinds of drama, or promise a short
call and drill him for 45 minutes about every minute detail of his day
and our lives that have nothing to do with her.
So my daughter follows the routine, tells bm ss's doing homework.
You'd think bm would have learned by now. My daughters can't be bullied.
Bm still tries tho. When bm insisted a 3rd time she MUST talk to ss NOW,
my daughter hung up.
Bm calls our line (which she's supposed to do when she needs to argue
- our girls are not supposed to have to argue with her) while dh is busy
getting the lizard cat brought in, and I'm at a crucial dinner cooking
point. I answer brusquely not knowing who it is, learn it's bm wanting
dh and quickly put her on hold.
Dh finishes about the lizard and takes the call. BM is angry,
"Your daughter hung up on me!" Dh said, "She probably put
you on hold" not knowing the history. BM demands to talk to ss
about the package she's mailing. Dh says he'll have him call 9:30p,
thinking homework will be done.
9:30p homework isn't done, but dh has ss stop and call bm telling him
to make it short.
All she wanted to tell him is that she's already mailed the package,
it will be there tomorrow, and she insisted he make sure someone will be
home to receive it.
Then she grilled him for 15 minutes about all kinds of other stuff.
*sigh* Like she couldn't just tell my daughter or dh that she'd
mailed the package. She just HAS to use these opportunities to be covert
and manage a conversation with ss when it isn't convenient to us -
that's her badge of accomplishment that seems to be so important to her
- she demands the one weekend for visitation that we've told her
repeatedly our family is busy on, and she demands to talk to ss at
length when it's inconvenient.
04/16/02 The package, or a notice about a package, didn't arrive.