Men are not the only

"She" can be one too!

When you look at the deadbeat sites, ask yourself if you're behaving like a deadbeat, and remember that men are victims of  "her" deadbeat  mentality also.

Whether you are a custodial parent, a non-custodial parent, a first wife, a second wife, a girlfriend, a boyfriend, ask yourself if you're behaving in the best interest of the child.

dh - darling husband
bm - biomom
ss - stepson
sd - stepdaughter
dd - darling daughter
ds - darling son 

 

@'97 Ss's favorite maternal aunt is dying of cancer. He's at our home with his paternal grandmother. He says, "Mom says that if she died, I'd have to go live with Aunt Susan. But now that Aunt Susan is  dying, where would I go if Mom died?" Grandma says stunned, "You'd be living with your Dad!" Ss says, "Mom says she wouldn't allow that." Grandma repeats, "You'd be living with your Dad."

02/15/98 The aunt dies.  Another aunt calls from AZ to tell dh that all but bm will be staying in AZ to take care of the woman's estate, and bm is so upset, she needs ss to skip his weekend with his dad and take his mom home to CA.

An 12 yo boy taking care of an upset bipolar?!?  What about his grief?

Dh wasn't given any say about the matter and didn't talk to his son.

Summer '99 dh won custody.

Concerned Stepmom

@ '96 Bm says that ss has again forgotten clothes at our home. Dh tells her he'll give ss any clothes we find at the campout.  Bm says she's not asking dh to look for and mail the clothes, she's telling him. Dh repeats that he'll return any found clothes to ss at the campout. Bm yells, "You better bring him everything he needs for the campout cuz I'm not sending him with anything!" Dh said, "Then send the clothes I bought him." Bm screams, "I don't have a box that's big enuf!" 

Concerned Stepmom

 

@'99 One time bm said he'd left 2 pairs of jeans. We find 2 pairs that don't belong to my kids, and send them back. She angrily exclaims they aren't his, and demands money to replace the jeans. We refuse. She says if we don't have money for jeans with us when we pick up ss, she'll be taking it out of his allowance. Dh arrives to pick up @10yo ss. Bm angrily majestically demands, "Do you have the money?" Dh replies no. She dramatically turns to ss to announce, "Then you owe me $40!!!" Ss didn't care. He was jumping up and down so happy to be leaving with his dad. Bm pays him $2 a week allowance. She doesn't know that since court improved visitation we pay him $10 a week. He's not upset about losing her allowance.

Concerned Stepmom