not the onlydeadbeats.
"She" can be one too!
When you look at the deadbeat sites, ask yourself if you're
behaving like a deadbeat, and remember that men are victims of "her"
deadbeat mentality also.
Whether you are a custodial parent, a non-custodial parent, a
first wife, a second wife, a girlfriend, a boyfriend, ask yourself if you're behaving in
the best interest of the child.
It's not just a word.
It's a sentence.
*evil grin* Think about it.
I'm thinking about my family of origin, ex's, and others...
02/11/02 Last night back from robotics ss was supposed to do homework.
Bm called while ss was doing homework. She thought she could bully my
13yo, "YOU PUT HIM ON THE PHONE NOW!!" My 13 yo calmly
said, "I'm getting Mark."
Dh quickly said to my daughter that since it's a 3 day weekend, and ss
would have another day to finish homework, ss could get on the phone and
make it quick.
Bm had hung up thinking dh was getting on the phone.
Bm called later. We knew ss was supposed to be doing homework, but my
daughter asked ss if he was doing homework, he said no and got on the
phone with bm. We thought he'd make it quick and finish his
40 min later I thought the call had been quick, and I went to check his
homework was done.
He was still on the phone with bm.
She'd stirred things up again. She told ss to refuse to go to robotics. He
said he was NOT doing more homework, and was going to bed. And he demanded
a weekend with his mom cuz she said she's supposed to have every other
weekend. Dh explained that she's has set visitation, and 6 floating
weekends that she's supposed to request 30 days in advance, which we can
refuse if we have family plans, and we must offer her alternate weekends,
which we've done.
I've learned to ask specific questions. The HUGE amount of homework he had
left to do was 9 algebra questions. He hadn't done any homework last
Dh and ss had words, and again dh went upstairs to resolve the situation.
Dh was again trying to be fair to bm by letting her talk to ss during
homework, but she proved again why we have that boundary. Ss said,
"You don't realize there is NO way I can get off the phone until SHE
wants me to."
Yeh, we do understand. That's why we have boundaries to limit her
intrusions in to our home.
BTW, dh told ss last night that my daughter, dh, and ss are all going to
FL robotics' championships courtesy of the school. Raised ss's
willingness to finish the heavy commitment to robotics that only lasts one
more week. Once the robot is shipped this Fri, competitions begin, and the
huge time investment is much reduced.
In addition, I've shared before that ss has volunteered 3 hrs a week at
the school's ISP (it services the local community), and now as a sophomore
has been promoted.
This past Thu dh, an MCSE, helped school district tech head to hook up
robotics workshop to internet thru the ISP (a student had erred). He got
to know some of ss's "co-workers". Dh wowed everybody fixing the
problem. I wouldn't be surprised that dh begins being an adult advisor for
the ISP, as he now is for robotics.
Ss still exclaims he won't be in robotics next year. He's very
continue with ISP cuz his ego likes that he's been promoted. I think he
wants to browbeat the underlings.
He doesn't realize how lucky he is that his dad is now involved in
robotics and ISP so despite bm's best efforts to sabotage good stuff going
on in ss's life these days, ss may at least make it thru high school.