not the onlydeadbeats.
"She" can be one too!
When you look at the deadbeat sites, ask yourself if you're
behaving like a deadbeat, and remember that men are victims of "her"
deadbeat mentality also.
Whether you are a custodial parent, a non-custodial parent, a
first wife, a second wife, a girlfriend, a boyfriend, ask yourself if you're behaving in
the best interest of the child.
@ '96 My daughters were asking ss about his private
school. Ss said, Im glad my mom
loves me enough
to pay for my private school. Dh
said, When you were starting 1st grade your mom called me
and asked if I would mind if her parents paid for you to go to private
school. I said that was
fine. Either way, it means your grandparents, your mom, and I all love
you very much."
was not a behavior problem while dh had custody age 9 months - 5 years
old. Bm had custody beginning in kindergarten. Ss was kicked out of
public school in 1st grade, and had to start private school.
'96 the girls called me on my cell phone complaining about ss, ss called
dh who was with me on his cell phone complaining about the girls.
I was sticking up for my kids, dh sticking up for his son, and
fortunately we caught ourselves. We had our first family meeting
when we got home. We explained briefly the drama
triangle, "one of the most damaging psychological processes
that we see today." "It is used as a major teaching tool in
the understanding of dysfunctional families."
Ss caught on immediately, "Why didn't you ever explain this
before?!?" Fighting among our kids lessened. We got better
and better at seeking solutions rather than wallowing in problems.
Ss was beginning his journey to be able to apply his new found wisdom at
his mom's home.
dh - darling husband
bm - biomom
ss - stepson
sd - stepdaughter
dd - darling daughter
ds - darling son